goes into a confession box.

[qrst804]

# A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. “Father O’Malley,” he says, “my name is Emil Cohen. I’m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I’m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I’ve never felt better.” “My good man,” says the priest, “I think you’ve come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?” And the guy goes: “I’m telling everybody!”
# Contrary to what most people would say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see. (Jack Handey)Boss Belts
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# The only thing I know about Africa is that it’s far, far away. About a thirty-five hour flight. The boat ride’s so long, there are still slaves on their way here. (Chris Rock)

[qrst804]

Hidden in the grass behind the hunter was a mouse. The mouse looked at the fly, and thought to itself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, the salmon would jump up to catch it, the bear would jump up to catch the salmon, the hunter would jump up to shoot the bear, the sandwich in the hunter's pocket would fall out, and I'd have myself something to eat."

A bit higher up the slope, on a jutting rock, sat a pussy cat. The pussy cat looked down at the fly, and thought to itself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, the salmon would jump up to catch it, the bear would jump up to catch the salmon, the hunter would jump up to shoot the bear, the sandwich in the hunter's pocket would fall out, the mouse would hop over to get the sandwich, I could leap down on it, and I'd have myself something to eat."
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At that moment, the fly dropped down about a half an inch. The salmon leapt up and caught the fly, the bear leapt out and snagged the salmon, the hunter jumped up and shot the bear, the mouse hopped out and started to eat the hunter's sandwich, and the pussy cat leapt down to catch the mouse...but it missed. It rolled down the slope, and fell into the stream.

Moral of the Story: A lot of things have to happen for a pussy to get wet.

[qrst804]

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[qrst804]

Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.

Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."

George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."

Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "

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Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.


Q: What is the difference between and Virgin and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!

[salenfl71]

Bobby-joe was riding in Jeds truck

Jed pulled over, got out and pointed down yawnder and said, "Thats where I first had sex."

Bobby-Joe said,"How was it."
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Jed said,"It was great til' I looked up and saw her mom was watching."

Bobby-Joe yelled,"Oh shit, what did she say??"

Jed repiled "Baaa"